Hungry Ghosts (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hungryghosts) wrote2021-04-26 09:26 am
hungryghosts) wrote2021-04-26 09:26 am
(no subject)
a perhaps unpopular opinion: it is important to allow people to choose, themselves, whether to call themselves plural, regardless of how Obviously Plural their experiences may or may not be
more and more, we are somewhat disenchanted with how plurality, the concept, is being entangled with the notions of plurality, the community. it seems that by calling yourself plural, you immediately become subject to a variety of demands. to determine and declare your trauma history, or lack thereof; to explain your suffering, or lack thereof, in gruesome detail; to submit yourself to be Sorted into an arbitrary -genic camp; to memorize and regurgitate ever-expanding vocabulary lists...
perhaps these are unspoken demands, but these ideas have become so prevalent that they have become demands, nonetheless. even we, several times removed from the community and spurning -genic words, feel their weight. in our time wandering outside the community and meeting questioning possibly-plurals, the thing that was most useful for them to hear was reassurance that whether to call themselves plural or not was *their* decision - that their experiences would still exist regardless of what terms were applied to it. that they were allowed to rest in their experiences without making Choices about what they were or weren't. that there was language if they wanted it, but that they were also free to find their own, or to embrace undefinability.
(this post brought to you by vague dissatisfaction over how many plural "101" resources contain long vocabulary lists of various -genic labels)
(also, hello, sorry for not being around for so long. we've been hovering around the higher levels of the emotional pain scale thanks to work. still figuring out what to do about it! but in the meantime we have disappeared into Games)
more and more, we are somewhat disenchanted with how plurality, the concept, is being entangled with the notions of plurality, the community. it seems that by calling yourself plural, you immediately become subject to a variety of demands. to determine and declare your trauma history, or lack thereof; to explain your suffering, or lack thereof, in gruesome detail; to submit yourself to be Sorted into an arbitrary -genic camp; to memorize and regurgitate ever-expanding vocabulary lists...
perhaps these are unspoken demands, but these ideas have become so prevalent that they have become demands, nonetheless. even we, several times removed from the community and spurning -genic words, feel their weight. in our time wandering outside the community and meeting questioning possibly-plurals, the thing that was most useful for them to hear was reassurance that whether to call themselves plural or not was *their* decision - that their experiences would still exist regardless of what terms were applied to it. that they were allowed to rest in their experiences without making Choices about what they were or weren't. that there was language if they wanted it, but that they were also free to find their own, or to embrace undefinability.
(this post brought to you by vague dissatisfaction over how many plural "101" resources contain long vocabulary lists of various -genic labels)
(also, hello, sorry for not being around for so long. we've been hovering around the higher levels of the emotional pain scale thanks to work. still figuring out what to do about it! but in the meantime we have disappeared into Games)