hungryghosts: A creature composed of many masks upon one shadowy body draped in a red fabric. (Default)
Hungry Ghosts ([personal profile] hungryghosts) wrote2021-04-26 09:26 am

(no subject)

a perhaps unpopular opinion: it is important to allow people to choose, themselves, whether to call themselves plural, regardless of how Obviously Plural their experiences may or may not be

more and more, we are somewhat disenchanted with how plurality, the concept, is being entangled with the notions of plurality, the community. it seems that by calling yourself plural, you immediately become subject to a variety of demands. to determine and declare your trauma history, or lack thereof; to explain your suffering, or lack thereof, in gruesome detail; to submit yourself to be Sorted into an arbitrary -genic camp; to memorize and regurgitate ever-expanding vocabulary lists...

perhaps these are unspoken demands, but these ideas have become so prevalent that they have become demands, nonetheless. even we, several times removed from the community and spurning -genic words, feel their weight. in our time wandering outside the community and meeting questioning possibly-plurals, the thing that was most useful for them to hear was reassurance that whether to call themselves plural or not was *their* decision - that their experiences would still exist regardless of what terms were applied to it. that they were allowed to rest in their experiences without making Choices about what they were or weren't. that there was language if they wanted it, but that they were also free to find their own, or to embrace undefinability.


(this post brought to you by vague dissatisfaction over how many plural "101" resources contain long vocabulary lists of various -genic labels)

(also, hello, sorry for not being around for so long. we've been hovering around the higher levels of the emotional pain scale thanks to work. still figuring out what to do about it! but in the meantime we have disappeared into Games)
lb_lee: A hand wearing a leather fingerless glove, giving the finger to the camera. (ffffff)

[personal profile] lb_lee 2021-04-28 07:46 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, I get frustrated, because on the one hand, I don't want to let the assholes claim the asylum and define the terminology. And sometimes I need a damn word to describe the big swathe of pluralish experience and groups, and i was already informed "multi" is too narrow, and now plural seems to be going the same way.

But I also don't want to pressure folks to feel they have to join this stupid shark tank! Especially since I know so many folks who're midcont, mediant, was-multi-but-then-the-other-guy-jetted, or one the soulbonding side who feel they aren't ALLOWED to see themselves as plural, lest they taint our pristine privy pool, when no, that's not how it should be!

Blaaargh. Your opinion is strong and meritful. I just hate that this is even a problem. (See also: how trans, once an umbrella term, now seems to have just become the next "transsexual".)

Rogan
lb_lee: An icon in shades of red and cream, showing a righteously angry coati screaming. (conflict coati)

[personal profile] lb_lee 2021-06-01 03:29 pm (UTC)(link)
OH THANK GOD IT'S NOT JUST ME.

Seriously, back in my day, trans covered "cis" gender nonconforming people, like Mac would be, because transphobes with tire irons don't care about the intricacies and intrigues of queer identity politics. And now I run into "nonbinary isn't trans" and I'm just like ??? And also finding folks arguing that nonbinary means something completely different than I thought?

And it just kinda makes me feel alone. Like, I know solidarity often doesn't truly exist but at the same time, the big brolly words are the only ones I ever felt like I fit under. Which is more about my damage than other folks.

Rogan
lb_lee: A happy little brain with a bandage on it, enclosed within a circle with the words LB Lee. (Default)

[personal profile] lb_lee 2021-06-01 03:39 pm (UTC)(link)
RE: system/collective

We've started weeding "system" from our words, because while it's a correct word, I don't want every plural to require a crash course in systems theory. (And because I'm trying to talk about plural stuff in everyday language, not academic.) But we ourself have only ever been Loony-Brain or LB Lee in adulthood, and have never added a word after it to selves-define.

In childhood, though, we called ourself the Family, and we've considered using calling ourselves the Loony-Brain Family, should we ever reach a point of okayness with the word.

Rogan