Hungry Ghosts (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hungryghosts) wrote2020-01-21 10:02 pm
hungryghosts) wrote2020-01-21 10:02 pm
Entry tags:
Plural resources that we want (that aren't more lists of words)
Putting this down partially as a list of ideas for ourselves. Feel free to add to it!
--
Advice on switching, especially:
- getting people unstuck from front
- helping people associate with front
- building fronting endurance
- self-care wrt switching (avoiding fronter burnout, managing memory hecks)
- helping people get more into headspace, or at least fall asleep when not in control
- doing all of the above in a controlled manner.
Advice on helping non-regular fronters find friends and interests outside of the system, ideally outside of plurality as well.
Advice on improving internal communication, for the folks who can't hear each other well.
Advice on setting boundaries and avoiding codependency and enmeshment. Hoo boy. (This is especially true for romantic relationships but tbh can apply to any sort of relationship.)
And, you know, discussions about in-system romance and sexuality that aren't peppered with shame and/or waifu jokes.
Thoughts on creating a healthy system dynamic in general. Thoughts on what "healthy" even constitutes in this scenario? Beyond "everyone is happy and has their needs met," because... let's face it. Especially in larger systems, that's easier said than done.
Advice on managing system growth: distinguishing brain noise from headmates, adjusting fronting schedules, scaling a system government. Advice that isn't "just ignore newcomers and they'll die/go away eventually" or "every single voice you hear is an Entire Person that you must immediately accomodate as if they've been here forever."
Advice on avoiding lotus-eating and the other worst impulses of fictivity (and mythos in general).
Thoughts on how to handle that weird feeling where you're one of the sole surviving fragments of an original who split into pieces and died and everything is half familiar and you've still got to carry on in their place.
More descriptions of how people run their systems. There doesn't need to be a One True Guide. There just needs to be a big enough library of experiences to crib enough ideas from.
You know, more descriptions of people's systems in general that AREN'T a laundry list of identities, diagnoses, or origin terms!
Advice on building your own personal library of red flags and getting the hell away from people that set them off. Not plural-specific; DEFINITELY plural-needed.
Probably more to come later!
--
Advice on switching, especially:
- getting people unstuck from front
- helping people associate with front
- building fronting endurance
- self-care wrt switching (avoiding fronter burnout, managing memory hecks)
- helping people get more into headspace, or at least fall asleep when not in control
- doing all of the above in a controlled manner.
Advice on helping non-regular fronters find friends and interests outside of the system, ideally outside of plurality as well.
Advice on improving internal communication, for the folks who can't hear each other well.
Advice on setting boundaries and avoiding codependency and enmeshment. Hoo boy. (This is especially true for romantic relationships but tbh can apply to any sort of relationship.)
And, you know, discussions about in-system romance and sexuality that aren't peppered with shame and/or waifu jokes.
Thoughts on creating a healthy system dynamic in general. Thoughts on what "healthy" even constitutes in this scenario? Beyond "everyone is happy and has their needs met," because... let's face it. Especially in larger systems, that's easier said than done.
Advice on managing system growth: distinguishing brain noise from headmates, adjusting fronting schedules, scaling a system government. Advice that isn't "just ignore newcomers and they'll die/go away eventually" or "every single voice you hear is an Entire Person that you must immediately accomodate as if they've been here forever."
Advice on avoiding lotus-eating and the other worst impulses of fictivity (and mythos in general).
Thoughts on how to handle that weird feeling where you're one of the sole surviving fragments of an original who split into pieces and died and everything is half familiar and you've still got to carry on in their place.
More descriptions of how people run their systems. There doesn't need to be a One True Guide. There just needs to be a big enough library of experiences to crib enough ideas from.
You know, more descriptions of people's systems in general that AREN'T a laundry list of identities, diagnoses, or origin terms!
Advice on building your own personal library of red flags and getting the hell away from people that set them off. Not plural-specific; DEFINITELY plural-needed.
Probably more to come later!
no subject
We did make our own list of red flags here: https://lb-lee.dreamwidth.org/897128.html
no subject
I don't know if we have proper memory gaps, either - it's really freaking hard to get yours truly fully away from front, even just knocked out, and because of that I don't know if we really lose time in the classical sense? That being said, we definitely have a lot of memory irregularities. It's like we're constantly drifting around in a haze and information doesn't really stick to our brain unless we try really hard. Anything we're thinking about just poofs at random, or like... suddenly gets wiped away, like a windshield wiper, and in order to remember it we have to literally have to rewind our environment and spacial position and hope that it triggers something in our memory. And everything beyond a few hours ago feels unreal; everything beyond a day or so ago is one big confusing blur.
(Apparently this is closer to most experiences of time loss/amnesia than the "classical" blackout, though? I'd honestly love to see more discussion of this.)
no subject
In our case, our abuse experiences tended to be highly encapsulated: there was "abuse time" and then there was "not abuse time" and there was very little crossover. So while those memories got nuked, it was very easy to keep contiguous memory otherwise; if you go to sleep, get woken up being attacked, and then afterward it's 2 AM and there's nothing left to do but go back to sleep, it's easy to wake up with the memory of just going to sleep like normal. Things get cut out retroactively, with the rest of life narrative stitched together.
Other than that, with more "normal" levels of stress, we just lose emotional context for the memory. We don't like it, since it means we keep going back to bad situations, unable to learn from them, so we try to actively stop that.
As far as "how people run their systems," we did post our system government and rules a while back...
--Rogan