Switching: Advice and Observations

[by Lark]

As a disclaimer, we aren't sure how to make someone fully detach from front. However, we do believe that fixating upon that to the exclusion of all else is counterproductive, at best. To consider it pointless to switch without full detachment is much like thinking it's pointless to draw unless you can produce a da Vinci masterpiece. There is, of course, the fact that you will never become capable of producing the metaphorical masterpiece without a tremendous amount of practice with the fundamentals; but more importantly, just as historical masterpieces should not be considered the only worthwhile art, fully detached switching should not be considered the only worthwhile switch. Our system, instead, defines success by the ability to take and keep control, for gradually longer periods and with increasing clarity of mind. It is a skill to continually develop rather than a goal to reach, and we have not needed full detachment in order to do so. (Much of switching, as it turns out, is about tempering your expectations.)

Likewise, we will caution against relying upon switching as your sole method of surviving an abusive living situation. There is no shame in doing what you must to survive - we have switched to survive before - but no one can survive those situations forever. Not even you. As Phosphor likes to say so colorfully, changing who's in the furnace means someone is still burning to death. And you deserve to switch in for reasons other than to burn in another's stead. It is always easier said than done, but try to find external support; try to have an exit plan that is not death.

In any case, here are my personal observations, in no particular order.

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