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Jan. 30th, 2026 11:42 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hungryghosts(crossposting a thing I wrote in Discord so I don't lose it)
Was working on our "am I plural" guide but now I'm distracted by the thought of writing a "this is how we do emotional regulation as a system" essay
I feel like a lot of emotional regulation in systems keeps being "designate one headmate as the Omelas kid/icky emotion holder and then suppress them" and it bothers me
Off of the top of my head, I can think of a few points that I want to cover...
- Emphasizing that thoughtcrime is not real and that your actions are what matter - you are not Bad for having messy thoughts and feelings (maybe link DBT stuff on radical acceptance of emotions?)
- My personal step-by-step strategy for emotional regulation: commit to not acting in the moment, identify the emotion, identify the cause of the emotion, validate the emotion, identify what the most productive action is, take the action
- Maybe also a bit on harm reduction and gradual progress - emphasize that it's okay to not be able to do all of this off the bat
- Ways that being plural can assist with emotional regulation: acting as "spotters" for each other (and practices to make sure everyone stays in contact during these moments), switching (but with caveats), imposed hugs
- Appendix of further reading for DBT resources, social skills, IFS, and other related topics
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Date: 2026-01-30 07:58 pm (UTC)From Julian^Wonderbeasts: "Anyway, returning to the actual topic, I think another good addition would be emphasizing that emotional regulation is a process, and practicing emotional regulation when you're not feeling as emotionally dysregulated is very helpful for building the instincts that eventually allow you to impliment it when you are. Also maybe linking to the pocket crisis guide LB Lee has? Thinking about a crisis plan and all that can be useful"